Erma Bombeck knows how to say it!

The Special Mother

by Erma Bombeck



Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, God, what if she doesn't believe in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will never consider a "step" ordinary.

When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."


I just cried when I read that. Am I that special mother? I think I will let Erma Bombeck speak through this.

A Common Thread

I posted this on my Myspace page back in May. It was one of those flashes of brilliance that I got. I wish I got more of those more often. Anyway, I wanted to share it on here, because I think it is so appropriate these days. Enjoy!

What common thread is there in America? What is the American dream anymore? Last night my husband and I were talking about how Obama voted against English as being the official language of America. It's a tragedy.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for diversity and people being able to speak their language of choice. But where is the unity that is supposed to hold us together? There is no common religion. There is no common language. There is no common value system even. The common thread is that everyone does what is right for him or her. Diversity is tearing our country apart.

The common attitude among Americans is this: If you want to practice that religion/live that lifestyle/agree with the policies of other countries/fill in the blank, then that's okay. Just don't shove it down my throat. Healthy debate has even fallen to the wayside. No common consensus is reached, and it turns into a contest of who can speak the loudest and make the other person feel bad. It doesn't have to be that way.

I really enjoyed the Disney/Pixar movie, "Cars." It was a wonderful movie, and I surprised myself by being able to break it down and analyze it. One thing that jumped out at me was the population of Radiator Springs. The population was quite diverse. There were Italians, a Mexican, a Black, a woman, old white men, an old woman, a hippie, a retired Army seargent, and a country hick. This is my take on the cars there. I think I got everyone. They were so different, yet they were so unified. They had a common goal that brought them together. They wanted people to come to their town, and they worked toward that goal together. I enjoyed seeing that kind of unity being presented in a children's movie. It is possible and it can happen. Sure, some of the cars got on some of the other car's nerves. It's a normal part of life. It wasn't perfect. The point is that they still stuck with their town and their neighbors.

I can see and feel a kind of "them versus us" attitude in American politics and life in general. It's Democrat versus Republican. It's conservative versus liberal. It's religious versus secular. It's gotten to such a point that you can't say anything about anything for fear of offending someone else. In unity we should not offend easily. Unity is about supporting what is good for the group as a whole. It is not about sacrificing the good of whole for the good of a few, yet this is what is happening. Because of a few who are offended by the Ten Commandments, it is not allowed to be displayed. The majority of Americans are religious, but popular culture and politics does not reflect that.

What is our common thread? What is our common goal as American people and how can we support each other in our journey to this common goal? When we can come together and figure this out, then we can become the country that we are supposed to be.

Sensory Processing Disorder

THANK YOU A LOT

Have you ever noticed that 90% of these alleged "symptoms" are NORMAL ACTIVITIES or things people (including kids) NORMALLY may or may not like, and that if you would grab ANY person on the street (Anyone), you would be able to label that person as a SPD sufferer, according to your infinite checklist?

Thanks, now I know where they take these things from.

Have you ever met a child? Do you have at least one? Were you a child at some point of your life, or have you just forgotten?

I bet you have A LOT of these symptoms yourself.

Do you have SPD?

The above is from an RSS feed from the Sensory Processing Disorder Blog. I love the sarcasm that people try to bestow others over the internet. First, SPD doesn't mean that you have only one or two of the symptoms. Second, it does mean that it affects how you live your life. There was another post after that one that talked about labeling kids and putting them on medication. I'm probably the last person on earth to want to medicate her kids. However, there are times when medication is APPROPRIATE. Medication is appropriate about 25% of the time it is recommended. Just a rough estimate. Also, I don't want my kids labeled as anything, but if there is a problem, let's just tell it like it is.

The checklist is a guide. If a number of the symptoms are mentioned, then it's probably a good idea to see a professional who can diagnose SPD. For example, both Cate and James have sensory issues. It's not so bad that it interferes with our lives. It's a pain in the neck, but we live relatively normal lives. That's the difference. Sure, everyone has sensory issues, but that doesn't mean that everyone has SPD. It's like saying that everyone who gets depressed suffers from depression. Not true. I just wish people would educate themselves before spouting off idiocy like this.

Head Lice...AGAIN!

My head is itching right now. Yours would be too if you were dealing with head lice in your family. I found a lonely one in Cate's head this morning. Cate cried, because she wanted to go to school. I couldn't let her go to school. It wouldn't have been fair to the other kids in the class. Usually, when you find one, there are more lurking around. Two weeks ago, we found 11 in her head. That's not a typo. It was eleven. I found 5 on Tuesday evening and 6 more on Wednesday morning. When I suspected head lice, I only found the nits. They were all over her head! I found the lice when I was combing her head. This morning I only found the one louse. I combed her hair later on and found a couple of nits and nothing else. Still.... I'm so tired of having to deal with head lice. We have been dealing with this since January of this year. I thought we were done with this in August. Apparently not. I will continue to be a good soldier and continue to seek and destroy these little bugs. I hope you will not have to deal with this problem pest.

Having Fun On the Web

You know, I should be getting into bed now. It's 11:21 PM. I am tired. I quit doing schoolwork, because I thought I'd be going to bed. Well.... I had to download a cool new browser call Flock. I have to delete a few other browsers. So I'm playing with this new browser and getting myself all hooked up on it. Actually, I like it. It's time-consuming on the front end, but in the long run it will save time. I have all my bookmarks accessible. It can tell me when I have new Yahoo mail. I wish I could set up my hotmail and operamail in this too, but I'll take what I can get.
Speaking of hotmail. Since it has gotten that "fresh coat of paint" on its website, I am unable to send emails from my Google browser. I have to go to my IE browser, which I avoid as much as possible. I love my Google browser. Let me count the ways.... The search engine is built into the address bar. It auto-completes web addresses for me. It's fast. I just love it! The wrench in the whole thing is my hotmail account. I can access my email, but I cannot send email. Ugh! It is so frustrating.
(next morning)
My husband came home, so I didn't get to finish my rant about Hotmail not working on my Google browser. Anyway, Flock is a cool browser, and as I learn more about it I'm sure I will write more about it. If you haven't checked it out, I'd definitely recommend it!

Special Needs Kids

I am a Cafemom mom. I just joined a group for moms with special needs kids. I just want to cry when I hear what some of these kids have to go through. I think about James and I wonder what I am whining about. James has MILD PDD. His speech delay isn't really that bad. He can talk anyway. I mean, it could be so much worse. He can mostly tell us what he wants. As long as he's not too tired, he's pretty good. But then he has one of those days where I just want to pull my hair out and have a good mixed drink at the end of the day. Chocolate also does it for me.

I'd like to get more services for James for his speech delay and behavioral support. But then some days I wonder if it's for me or for him. I think maybe it's a little of both sometimes. I just feel so busy some days that I don't have time to do for him what I need to do. That's shameful, but that's how I feel. I do try to spend as much time with him as I possibly can.

I guess every now and then I realize just how good I do have it. I think God knows that John and I wouldn't be able to handle more than we have now. We are stretched with our children, and that's good. We have the chance to be better people because of our children. I feel as though I'm more aware of children who are "different." I can be empathetic to their parents, because I know how they feel. James definitely has his moments when I'm sure people are wondering why I can't control my child. Maybe someone else could do a better job with him, but I am doing the best job I can possibly do with him.

I guess that we all have our struggles, and who is to say which is better or worse than the other? When you're in a situation, you just do what you have to do. You don't even think about it. It's your situation, and you make the best of it. That's all anyone can do or want.

Good news today

My son, James, is suspected to be autistic. He has received a diagnosis of mild PDD from a developmental pediatrician. I wasn't really satisfied with the evaluation. Last week I called Good Shepherd Rehab to make an appointment, but I was told that the wait for an appointment there is one year. I called another place this morning, whose name escapes me right now, and I can get James in to see a psychiatrist and psychologist in 4-5 weeks. FOUR OR FIVE WEEKS!!!! I can't believe it!!!! I'm so excited. I hope that it's actually true. The psychiatrist will actually play with James to see what his strengths and weaknesses are. The developmental pediatrician didn't do that. I hope that we can get a solid diagnosis and get some extra therapy going for James. Right now he is in Early Intervention. He had his re-evaluation about a week ago, and he didn't make as much progress with his speech as I had hoped. I just want to know what's going on with him.