A Lesson in Perseverance

Lately I've been doing a bit of crocheting. I've never really been all that great at it, but I picked up a few easy projects that are helping me get better. Plus, I'm planning on making as many Christmas presents as possible.

Cate hasn't shown much interest in domestic things (ie: cooking, cleaning, sewing). Yesterday she actually took an interest in the blanket I am making for her American Girl doll. It's just a simple blanket made with a double crochet stitch. She tried a couple stitches, but we didn't get to go much farther than that. So this morning after our quiet time I gave her some yarn and a crochet hook. Getting started was tough for her (it still is for me!), but she got the chain stitch pretty easily. Then we moved on to the single crochet stitch. That was a little more difficult for her and she got frustrated many times. She messed up a bit, so we kept pulling out the stitches that she messed up on. All in all, when she finished a few rows, she was pleased with what she did.
 

One complaint I got was that I made it look easy. I had to remind her several times that I have a lot more practice with it than she does. I patiently encouraged her to continue and not give up. Then I reminded her about perseverance. We defined perseverance (with the help of dictionary.com). Then I told her that that included her Christian life too. There are going to be so many times when we want to give up, but we can't. We have to keep going on. Even when we screw up, we can't just throw the towel in. We have to pick up  where we left off and try again. Other people might make it look easy, but we don't know what they are struggling with.

How to Make Homemade Bread

For those out there who find the thought of making bread by hand to be overwhelming, take heart. I felt the same way at one time. It's actually not that difficult--or time-consuming--to make your own bread. If you have a bread machine, it's even easier. But if you don't have a bread machine, or you're unhappy with the results you're getting from the bread machine, try this recipe. I did find it off the internet, but I don't remember where I got it. It's a pretty basic recipe. I have tweaked it a bit to make it my own.

Homemade Bread

1 Tbsp yeast (or one packet)
1 c. hot water
3-5 tsp butter, melted
1/4 c. milk (I use raw milk, which is whole milk, so I don't know how it turns out with low-fat varieties.)
5 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt
2.5-3.5 c. flour
5 tsp vital wheat gluten

In a large bowl, mix the yeast with the hot water until the yeast has dissolved.
Add the butter, milk, sugar, and salt to the dissolved yeast and mix well.
Add two cups of flour and the vital wheat gluten and mix well. Continue to add more of the flour 1/4 cup at a time until the dough is not sticky. (I end up mixing the dough with my hands as the dough gets tougher to mix with a spoon.)
Rub some flour between your hands and flour a clean place to knead the dough. Knead the dough for 10 minutes. I do this by punching it, karate-chopping it, or squeezing it with my hands. Just remember to put it back in a ball every so often while you're kneading.
When you're done kneading, shape the dough into a ball. Spray a clean bowl with cooking spray. Put the dough in the bowl in cover it with a towel. Set the bowl in a WARM, draft-free area for about an hour.
The dough should have risen at least by double. As long as it rises some, you will be okay. Punch the dough two or three times to bring it back to its original size. Knead it a few more times.
Shape the dough into a loaf. You can do this by either spreading the dough out and rolling it up like a jelly roll. Or you can just shape it with your hands and tuck the short ends under. The seam will go down on the bottom. Tuck the ends under, so it looks like a mini-loaf. It should still be about as long as the bread pan.
Grease and flour the pan and place the loaf in the pan.
Cover it with a towel and let it rise for another hour in a warm place. It should double again with the second rise.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and bake for about 25 minutes. A lot of the timing is going to depend on your oven, so check it after 20 minutes. It's done when the pan sounds hollow when you tap it on the bottom.

A few notes:
I use raw milk, which is whole milk, so I don't know how it turns out with low-fat varieties.
I don't bother with temperature when I'm measuring out the hot water. If it's a little hotter than I can handle, then it's good.
I use parchment paper for all of my baking. I usually just throw a piece of parchment in the loaf pan, and then I can lift the bread out when it's done baking.

Completing Him Challenge--Communicating Priorities

July 12 - Make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask him to prioritize them for you of what is important to him. For example - a clean home, home cooked dinner, coupon clipping, service at church, having friends over for dinner, watching/doing sports with him, etc.

Well, this past weekend was rough for me and my husband, so I didn't get to do this challenge in time to post on Monday. I won't go into great detail about my list, but I will say that my husband and I have very different priorities. I just wrote down a bunch of things that I'm currently doing in my life, and the activities that he had listed as most important were definitely not the things that I thought they might be. The things that I thought were most important were at the bottom of the top 5. It was disappointing to me. 

I did learn something about my husband, and I now know what to do to really make him happy. And I do want my husband to be happy. 

Ways to Honor Your Parents

I recently bought a copy of "Polished Cornerstones" and received it in the mail on Monday. If you have never heard of "Polished Cornerstones," it is a book that is used to train daughters to become like the Proverbs 31 woman. It can easily be incorporated into a homeschooling curriculum. There are a lot of projects for girls to work on, and this book can be used for girls of all ages.

I looked through the book on Monday night to see what Cate's first project would be. To go with the lesson on obedience, we started with "a submissive woman." The project I decided on first was Project C. Cate needed to make a list of 10 ways she could show her parents honor and respect. To help her get started, I also attempted this project.

As an adult, I can also show my parents honor and respect. I came up with a list of five things:

1. Ask for their opinion about a problem that I'm having. Thank them for their help.
2. Remember their birthdays and anniversary by giving them a card and a thoughtful gift.
3. Say kind things about them, even if they're not around.
4. As an adult, I need to not rely on my parents to meet my basic needs.
5. Be a good houseguest when I visit. Offer to help clean the house. Keep my own personal space tidy.

I'm sure there are other things I could come up with, but this was a start for me.

This morning I had Cate work on this project. Since my niece was over, I had her participate in the project as well. They both came up with separate lists.






Here is Cate's list:

1. Obey without being asked twice.
2. Do a chore without being asked.
3. Do not whine when they ask me to do something.
4. Let Andrea's dogs out without being reminded.
5. Play with James without being asked.
6. Fill salt and pepper shakers without being asked.
7. Clean basement without being told to.
8. Feed dogs without being reminded.
9. Clean my room without being asked.
10. Remember their anniversary.

Here is my niece's list:

1. Obey them when they ask me to do something.
2. Get them a present for mother's day, like flowers.
3. Show you can do something on your own.
4. Feed the cats when they don't ask me to.
5. Clean the living room without being told to.
6. Get breakfast without my mom making it.
7. Caring for mom and dad and love them.
8. When you come home from school, kiss them and tell them you love them.
9. Make a card on their birthday.
10. Clean the whole house.

They came up with some great things. One thing that I thought of was something that you can't really appreciate until you become a parent. An important way that children can show their parents honor is by behaving well out in public. Our children are a reflection of us in how they behave with other adults outside of the home. When I get comments about how well-behaved my children are, I know I am doing my job as a parent. Even if I feel ineffective at teaching my children discipline and respect, I know that they are learning something.

We also talked about what it means to be submissive and how we are always submissive to someone, whether it be our parents, teachers, employers, spouses, or God. This is probably one of the most important lessons that our children can learn.

Psalm 127:3--"Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him."

Getting Clean Laundry

I've been learning a lot about getting my clothes cleaner, so for the next three weeks I'm going to talk about what I'm learning about doing laundry and getting clean clothes. For week 1 I'm going to talk a little bit about cleaning the washer. For week 2 I'm going to talk about the laundry detergent and fabric softener that I use. For week 3 I'm going to talk about spot cleaning clothing and getting stubborn stains out. If anyone has any tips or ideas, I'd love to hear about them.

Week 1: Cleaning the washer

I have recently started using homemade laundry detergent and vinegar on my dirty clothes. At first I wasn't too sure about it. I was getting lint on my darks and the cleaning was okay. Not great, but passable.

Then I just couldn't take the lint anymore. I did a google search and found the solution to my problem on several sites. There were a few recommendations:

• clean the washer with vinegar;
• clean the lint trap if your washer has one;
• use a cup of vinegar with the laundry detergent in addition to the rinse cycle;
• don't overfill the tub;
• wash the clothes that create lint separately from the other clothing.

Cleaning the washer is pretty simple. It's as simple as running a load of wash. Fill the tub of the washer halfway. Put a couple of cups of vinegar in the tub and let it agitate. When the washer is done agitating, turn it off and let the water soak for at least an hour. While the tub of the washer is soaking, you can use that time to locate the lint trap (if the washer has one) and clean it. If your washer is like mine and has a fabric softener dispenser in the agitator, take it apart and clean it out. There was a lot of mold and junk in the dispense of my washer. Yuck! After it's done sitting, let it finish washing. Wipe out the tub of any junk that's left in there.

I don't know what kind of schedule you're supposed to keep with this, but I'll probably do it quarterly.

I can tell you that my wash has been a lot cleaner since I've cleaned my washer. The lint problem still isn't completely gone, but if I toss the clothing in the dryer for a bit, that seems to take care of it.

Making Marshmallows

I love marshmallows, and the kids love marshmallows. Unfortunately, I don't like most of the ingredients in the marshmallows. So that means that it's time to turn to Google and search for a recipe. I can usually find a good recipe for almost anything I need. Not so this time. I had to specifically add "without corn syrup" to find a recipe that did not include corn syrup. I have issues with corn syrup, but that's another post for another time.

So thanks to the Frugal Kiwi for an easy, delicious recipe. The ingredient list is pretty simple, which is a bonus for me. The list of ingredients includes: gelatin (I used unflavored Knox gelatin), water, granulated sugar, honey (I used agave), salt, and vanilla extract. To coat the marshmallows, all you need is corn starch and powdered sugar. Other than the gelatin and possibly the powdered sugar, these are things that are staples in any pantry.

While the recipe is easy, you do need to be able to give your entire attention to the recipe the whole time. I won't reiterate the entire recipe here (click the Frugal Kiwi link to go right to the recipe), but I'll give you some tips that might help you.

• Use a candy thermometer when you are making the syrup. 
• A stand mixer might be easier to use if you have one. If you only have a hand mixer, gently pull the beaters out of the mixture when it starts to climb up to get it off the beaters. 
• The mixture did not pour out of the bowl for me. It was so sticky and gooey. I had a hard time trying to spread it out. I used a 9"x13" baking dish, but and 8"x8" dish would probably work better. 

The marshmallows are so good! They're not exactly like the store bought marshmallows, but my husband told me that they're better than the store bought marshmallows. I have not tried to toast any, so I honestly don't know how that works out. I probably will find out before the summer is over though.

Bon apetit!

Learning to Obey

Today I have a guest blogger: my eight year old daughter. Lately, she's been having an issue with obedience, so I told her that we needed to do a study on obedience. What does the Bible have to say about it?  Well, it turns out the Bible says a lot about it, but I managed to find verses to give her a one week Bible study. One verse per day--more or less--and a story of obedience on the last day.

So here is what she wrote about the first verse: Ephesians 6:1.

Ephesians 6:1--"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."

I don't really like this verse, because sometimes it's hard to obey my parents. What mommy tells me to do is tough. I don't have confidence in what I'm supposed to do, but mommy has confidence in me. I know God didn't make any mistakes. I try to be like him.

I like helping her, but sometimes I don't like to. Playing is fun, but chores go first. I enjoy doing it in my own way, but sometimes Mommy wants it done in her own way. God wants me to obey my parents even when I don't feel like obeying them.

The End!

In the next few days, she'll explore the fifth commandment, the way Jesus acted toward his parents, and the way that Jesus learned obedience. On the last day, she'll read I Samuel 15, which shows what can happen when you don't do what God wants you to do. She'll memorize one of my favorite verses: I Samuel 15:22. Next week I'll let you know how she did.

To God be the glory!

Desiring to Homeschool

Over at the Women Living Well blog, Courtney shared the day they received their new textbooks and supplies for the upcoming school year. It turns out that she uses a public online school to homeschool her children. It brought the desire back in me to homeschool Cate this coming year.

The only thing holding me back is my husband. John is worried about the lack of socialization for Cate. I'm not really so worried about that, because she'll have access to kids outside the home. Maybe it wouldn't be such an issue either if Cate weren't so anxious in social situations. She doesn't have social anxiety, but she just has a hard time knowing where she fits in in different circles.

Little does she know that I feel the same way about myself. Cate is my "mini-me." She has a lot of the same desires that I do. I empathize well with her.

There was a lot of girl "drama" in her classroom last year. It was a rough year. She ended up getting in trouble with the teacher for being chatty and not focusing.

So I'm not really sure what to do. I'm praying about it right now, so that I know what God's will is. I hope He makes it clear whether we should homeschool or not. I've done too much jumping into things this year, and it's gotten me into a lot of trouble. Now I'm just going to wait on God's will.

Welcome to Homemaker Tuesdays!

Well, since embracing my role as a homemaker, I've been learning a lot of new things. I'd like to share some of the things that I've learned and hopefully pass these things down to my daughter as well.

The one great thing about being home with the kids is that I can get them to work with me in the home. It opens up so many opportunities to teach from a godly perspective and share my beliefs with my kids. Deuteronomy 6:7 tells me to "[i]mpress them (God's commands) on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." In every aspect of life I can share with my children how God wants us to live.

This past Saturday I moved the kitchen furniture and scrubbed the floor on my hands and knees. (Note to self: Don't attempt this again until after I have healed from surgery!) I asked Cate to help me by scrubbing the baseboards and walls while I scrubbed the floor. She got a little sloppy with her work, and I was able to share with her why we put all of our effort into our work. I quoted a couple of Scriptures. I think she got the message, because then she cut a rag for her brother to help out too!

I absolutely loved that little window of opportunity to teach Cate some of God's truth. I have seen her growing and changing this summer, and I'm so happy about it. It's been an exciting time as I figure out how this homemaking and raising kids thing works. I feel like I'm doing what I was made to do. I know Cate is happier as a result. I'm not sure about James, but he is constantly singing some happy little song. I think he's happy too.

Completing Him Challenge--Admiring My Husband

This weeks Marriage challenge is: Admire Your Husband. If you are a blogger write a post all about your husband and what you admire in him and then show it to him! He will smile!
Well, this challenge was a real challenge this morning. That is why I have not posted until this evening. I know I disappointed my husband last night. I woke up at one point, and he wasn't in bed. I know something bothered him, and that something was my fault.

Argh. Satan knows what button to push to create a wedge in our marriage. This certain thing has been an issue for a while now, and I'm not sure how to get over it. I know what I should have said this morning.

I should have said "I'm sorry."

Words feel so meaningless at times, and that was the reason why I couldn't lovingly admire my husband this morning. My heart was not there. It would have been meaningless drivel.

So now I can say why I admire my husband. And mean it.

1. He has a wonderful work ethic. He is a hard worker and puts everything he has into his job. Sometimes to a fault, but you can't say that he is not dedicated to the company he works for. 
2. I'm not sure that there's anything that he can't do around the house. He's been working on cars since he was 14, and people come to him all the time for help with their cars. In addition to cars, he cleaned our furnace out after watching some Youtube videos about it. You know, I think he did a better job than the heating company would have done. He was thorough. He has no formal training, but he did it anyway.
3. Along the same vein, he can fix just about anything. In our church nursery there is a Larry the Cucumber toy that dances around and sings. Larry wasn't dancing so much anymore, but John took it home and fixed it. The kids in the nursery can continue to play with Larry and enjoy him.
4. He is an EXCELLENT cook! I love a man that can cook for me. He even cooked tofu and ate it back in my vegetarian days while we were dating. He has the ability to throw things together and make it taste good. I love the Sundays after church when he makes Eggs Benedict. He does such a great job. 
5. John is a man of strong conviction. His beliefs don't change at the drop of a dime. He knows what he believes, and he knows why he believes that way. 
6. John doesn't go with the flow or follow current trends. He is his own person, and he is not afraid to be that way. He is truly a nonconformist. 
7. He is generous with what he has. John loves to give money, time, and talent to those pursuits he feels are worthwhile. 
8. John is a great father. He loves to spend time with his kids. At bedtime, he will read a lot of books to James. He has a genuine concern for his kids. 
9. John is a great husband. For all the ways and times that I fail him, he still loves me. He knows me and understands me. He accepts me and loves me unconditionally. 

My brain is running out of things to admire about John, but I'm sure I'll think of more before I go to bed. John is a wonderful man. We work together really well, and he completes me better than anyone else could. He's not afraid to challenge me to be a better person.

What do you admire about your husband? I would love to hear about it!

Language and Dreams

This post is more of an intellectual pursuit. This is something I've been kicking around in my head for years. I'd like to write a paper on this, but I have no idea where to even begin researching for it.

So what is this? For some background on how I even came up with this idea--which I'll get to in a minute--I learned French in high school. I got some of the best advice on learning a foreign language from a bilingual girl I knew in school. She told me to not translate while I'm speaking or listening in the language. This served me well as I navigated the finer points of French. It also helped a ton as I gained extra experience while watching "French in Action" on PBS. Even in French 1, when I knew only a handful of words, I watched this and tried to catch any words that I knew. Then rather than try to translate, I pictured the word in my mind visually.

I was also told that I would know I was fluent in a language when I could dream in that language. I don't remember who told me that, but it seemed to be common knowledge and the prevailing thought at the time.

Then I "met" Benjamin Lee Whorf. He is not to be confused with Lt. Wharf on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Whorf is one of my academic heroes. He's a close second to Einstein. Whorf was a chemical engineer who had a hobby in linguistics. He studied American Indian languages and wrote many papers on linguistics based on his findings. He also worked with Edward Sapir on a theory called the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis. Basically this states that language shapes our thoughts and, to some extent, our reality. Language is not merely the vehicle we use to express our thoughts. When I studied this in college, I found it to be very interesting. We know what is important in a culture based on what the language focuses on. For example, in America we only have one word for snow. The Eskimo have over 100 words for snow. Snow is not that important to us. We can use adjectives to give the snow qualities, but it is still the same word. Also, in French one of my favorite words is apprivoiser. If memory serves me right, it is translated into English as "to tame." But if you've read "The Little Prince" in French, it means so much more than that. The little prince must show up at the same time everyday to gain the fox's trust and friendship. Tame is an okay word, but it lacks the depth of the French meaning of apprivoiser.

Okay. So what does this have to do with anything? When I lived in Allentown six or seven years ago, I started learning Spanish. I am far from fluent in Spanish, but I did dream in Spanish once. Well, it was more like someone in my dream spoke some words in Spanish. In light of what I was learning about language and linguistics at the time, I wondered what role language actually plays in our dreams. What does this mean for the multi-lingual individual? How does the brain decide what language--or what reality--to dream in? When I had my dream, the person who said the words in Spanish was a Hispanic. I am not Spanish or Hispanic, so it doesn't make sense for me to say anything Spanish in my dreams. It seems that this is a shortcoming of the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis. I'm not sure if it holds true when it comes to dreams.

I'm hoping that someone has an opinion about this. I'd like to hear some other points of view, especially from someone who is actually fluent in more than one language.

Completing Him Challenge--Praying For My Husband

What a wonderful challenge this week! This week I am to pray every day for my husband, and specifically ask him what I can pray for every morning. It's something that's so simple, but I admit that I'm horrible about praying for him.

And as a bonus, I can fast for him one day. Again, that's not something I don't do a whole lot of either.

Thank God I don't have to work for my salvation!

I know that John needs prayer. I just don't always know how to pray. Actually, Courtney mentioned the book "The Power of a Praying Wife," which is one that I don't have. In that book, there is a list of ways that wives can pray for their husbands. Courtney has it listed out in her post, which you can access through the image at the top of this post.

I can't wait to see what happens through faithful prayer. I know that powerful things can happen. I have seen things happen in my own life when I pray and put my problems before God.

I'll have to wait until the end of the week to see if I was successful in maintaining regular prayer for my husband. Please pray for me!

Frozen yogurt is not health food

Frozen yogurt is not health food

Frozen yogurt shops don't deliver healthy food, but they do deliver the illusion of healthy food. And in America today, where illusion dominates reality, that's good enough!

I got this email from Natural News a few days ago. It was an article by Mike Adams about frozen yogurt. I don't really think much about frozen yogurt. I mean, seriously, if I'm going to have a cold treat, I really want ice cream. The point isn't to be healthy anyway. But there was a really good point about frozen yogurt having this illusion of a healthy snack, while it's nothing more than glorified ice cream with probiotics.

Then at one point in the post, the author turns a corner and starts talking about reality in the US being an illusion. We don't want the reality, because it infringes on our right to live the life that we want.

Then he gets into popular religion in America.

I mean, I have no idea where he stands with religion, but I can see him getting really passionate about this. Mike says, "They don't really want to authentically believe in God, you see, because that would require a whole different level of personal discipline to act in a way that honored their beliefs (and honored their body as a temple)." Whoa. The guilt starts pouring in, and I'm not even sure I did anything wrong.

So he's talking about authentic Christianity. Authentic living. Living the life that reflects a belief system that has depth and breadth. Being consistent with those beliefs. And by consistent I mean wanting to save the animals and the unborn from a violent end.

Just read the article. It made me stop and examine my beliefs and the way I care for my body. I am constantly learning new things about health. I'm not consistently putting it into practice, but I am making an effort everyday. The way I do my grocery shopping has changed dramatically since the beginning of the year. It will continue to change as I figure out how I can reconcile my family's eating habits with healthy ideals. I want my life to reflect the truth of what I believe.

Eager Obedience

Titus 2:14
"[Jesus] gave himself for us to...purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good."

If I belong to God, I should desire to be EAGER to do what is good. I can put a happy face on, but have a heart that is grumbling underneath. God sees my heart. I can't fool Him. If I have an issue with eager obedience, I need to talk to God about it and work it out with Him.

What is the good that I should do? Earlier in the chapter, there are some things spelled out specifically for me as a young wife:

• to love my husband and children;
• to be self-controlled and pure;
• to be busy at home;
• to be kind;
• to be subject to my husband.

All of these are a struggle for me at some point. Some are harder than others. When I am having a hard time with being eager to do one of these things, I need to pray for a heart adjustment.

To be honest, I don't feel like I'm struggling with any of this RIGHT NOW. Not that I don't ever. As I'm writing this, I feel as though I'm giving some sort of wimpy "just trust God and it'll be okay" answer to the problem. I mean, trusting God is huge, so I don't want to minimize that at all. That is not my intention.

It's just that in the struggle of life, it feels so much harder to trust God. It's easy to tell people to trust God when I'm not struggling with that issue.

But don't worry. I'll be struggling in a few days, and then I'll need the reminder to hit my knees and work it out with God.

Completing Him Challenge--The Wedding Day

June 21 - Remember Your Vows - post pictures of your wedding day. We will review the sacredness of this day.

This is one of the most important days of my life. It is the day I vowed to love and care for someone until death separates us. We all know that this is something that is not to be taken lightly, yet so many go into marriage with the idea that they can get out if it doesn't work out. I cringe when I hear this. There aren't supposed to be "take backs" in marriage.

Marriage is no walk in the park. Sometimes you have to put someone else's needs before your own. That is not an easy thing to do. I've found in my own marriage that it makes the marriage better when I put John's needs before my own.

In spite of the rocky patches, I wouldn't trade my life with John for anything. He drives me bonkers at times, but he is really the best man for me.

I forgot one very important part of this post: the wedding story!! It's pretty simple, actually.

We had a short engagement, just a couple of months. We decided to get married in Phoenix for a couple of reasons. First of all, all of my immediate family was there. Second, because this was my first marriage and his second, this was more important to me. He didn't care if his family was there. Third, my dad had an awesome backyard, and it was the perfect setting for the wedding and reception.

I had to pick out my dress here in Pennsylvania and transport it out there. Cate and I went to David's Bridal in Whitehall to pick my dress. I found the perfect dress. I knew it was the one when I tried it on. I cried though, because my mom should have been there. Someone else should have been there.

I didn't have much else to do except pick the flowers and colors. My parents took care of every other detail. It was so elegant. It wasn't the large wedding I dreamed of when I was younger, but it was perfect.

We decided to have the wedding Memorial Day weekend. My sister was having a baby shower that Saturday, and then we'd get married Sunday. John's parents came out too. I think they enjoyed themselves in spite of the heat. Frank, my father-in-law, is a biologist, so I know he enjoyed himself with the landscape.

I'm not sure if you can see it in the pictures I posted here, but John was such a happy groom. I loved going through my pictures. It reminded me of just how much I really do love my husband.

And they all lived happily ever after...for at least a couple of months.

Completing Him Challenge--The Dating Days

June 14 – Post Pictures from your dating days (or tell us all about it!). Think about one thing you used to do or have as a couple that you have lost in the shuffle of life. How can you regain it?



Well, I don't think I have any pictures from our dating days. Our dating days were interesting to say the least.

I do remember that any gifts John gave me were practical. That was somewhat frustrating to me, because I am not a practical person. Especially back then.

I've grown a lot in the years since we first started dating. I never cooked anything for him. In fact, he used to cook for me. Obviously the way to John's heart is not through his stomach! We would actually just go out to eat most of the time.

Way back in the beginning I wrote poems for John. I was inspired by him. I haven't done that in a long time. Since we've been married, I haven't found a lot to be inspired by. I need to learn to see inspiration. I'm sure it's all around me.

One thing that I would like to do again is go out for walks in the evening. We used to walk around Fleetwood and then hang out on the playground at the Elementary school. The thing I liked most about that is that we would talk about everything. Now it feels like there's no time to talk.

Those are a couple of the highlights that I remember most about dating John. As far as regaining any of those things, we really need to make more time for each other. Date nights are few and far between. That's probably the biggest thing we can do for each other and our marriage.

Next week I'll be more prompt on posting for the challenge. I promise!

Happy Father's Day!

I know it's not quite Father's Day yet, but James brought a present home for Daddy that he made at daycare. Here's a picture of the project.


James isn't much for touching paint with any part of his body, so I'm really proud of him for letting his teacher do these footprints. There's a poem in the middle, and that made me want to cry. So here's a poem for all the dads out there.

"Walk a little slower Daddy" said a child so small.
"I'm fallowing in your footsteps and I don't want to fall."

Sometimes your steps are very fast,
Sometimes they're hard to see;
So walk a little slower, Daddy,
For you are leading me.

Someday when I'm all grown up,
You're what I want to be;
Then I will have a little child,
Who'll want to follow me.

And I would want to lead just right,
And know that I was true;
So, walk a little slower, Daddy,
For I must follow you.

--Anonymous

When I read that for the first time, I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I think it is the sweetest Father's Day poem I've ever read.

There's so much truth to it too. There is so much on parents' shoulders, because our kids watch our every move. Fortunately, we have a Heavenly Father who never walks too fast for us. He meets us exactly where we are, and we can trust His footsteps. They are true. We can follow in His example, because it is perfect.

Proverbs 14:26 -- "He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge."

Green Me

I am seriously the last person you'd expect to care about being eco-friendly. Don't get me wrong. I don't think that we should trash the earth, but I do think that the earth's resources--oil included--are here for us to use. It is important to be responsible in how we use our resources. Plus, and this could be the liberal part of me coming out, I'm not going to run around and tell people that they should be eco-friendly. I just think that this is one of those issues where people need to make decisions based on their conscience.

Just to be clear, I don't seek out eco-friendly products, unless that product directly impacts the amount of chemicals going into my body. If one happens to jump out at me that is also economically viable, then I'll consider it. And today something jumped out at me while I was shopping at Target.

I went there to get a notebook to put blog ideas in and found one that I liked in the eco-friendly section. It had an odd feel to it, but I did like the cover. The price wasn't too bad ($2.99 for a 100 page composition book). Because I prefer something with an attractive cover, I checked the prices on the other notebooks to compare the price. I decided the price was pretty good.

So what was so special about this? Here are the features of the notebook:

• It is completely tree-free. The paper was made with "all natural" stone.


• The production of stone paper uses much less water than virgin paper and creates no air pollution.


• It writes with ink and pencil very nicely. The only downfall with pencils is that very sharp tips are not good with the paper. Otherwise, I love how it writes.


• It is virtually water-proof! I carried it out in the rain today, and it left no water spots. The stone does not absorb water the way that fibrous paper does. This is a huge benefit with kids around that are prone to spilling things.


• It does not tear very easily. Actually, what it really does is stretch a little and then tear apart. I have a picture of that to the right to show you how it looks. You can see at the top that the paper stretches a little before tearing.


• It is recyclable.

So it's a unique product that is not ridiculously expensive but is still a quality product. A google search revealed that this has actually been around for at least a year. You can get invitations and other stationary online made by stone. I think that this is one of the better eco-friendly options for paper. Besides the benefits that I listed above, I absolutely love the feel of the paper! It feels kind of soft.

So the next time you're at Target, if you've never seen stone paper before, check it out.

Completing Him Challenge Summer 2010

I came across this challenge on Facebook. The blogger who came up with this posted it on her Facebook page, and I was curious about what "completing him" means. I thought it had something to do with God, and I guess I was partly right. The "him" in the phrase refers to your husband, and the purpose of the challenge is to learn how to be the wife that your husband needs. Since we all have different husbands, no two marriages are going to look exactly the same. It's important to learn what makes your marriage work while still being biblical. Throughout the next 10 weeks, I will be posting about my marriage and my relationship with my husband. I'm hoping this will be a time of discovery and renewal in this important relationship. Incidentally, this post came to me the day after I prayed for more passion for my husband. I didn't labor over the prayer; it was more like an afterthought.
I would love for some of my friends to join me on this journey and see what God reveals to us during the next couple of months. Click on the button above to go to the original blog post. You can also check out a video of Courtney talking about the challenge right here:

My New Life

This year has been...shall we say...interesting. We're already halfway through the year, and I've been through more than I'd care to go through. I started out thinking that I had a job and life was going to be good. I'd work at home, get some new clients, bring in some income. Life was going to be good. Alas, this has not been the case. The job was a bust, and I've been bouncing around trying to figure out what I'm going to do. Oh, yeah. Then I had some depression and almost left my husband. I'm sure that's the last thing anyone would expect to hear from me. But as they say, life doesn't always turn out the way you would expect it to. I just didn't think they were talking about my life.
Fast forward to the present. I'm stressing myself out with finding a job, because I know that financially we need the extra income. I have James in daycare full-time, which has been wonderful for him. He's a lot more social now than he used to be. In spite of being jerked around with a job, God has provided the means to pay for daycare. Cate has been having issues in school, but she is getting through. I haven't been a perfect mom, but somehow we're all surviving.
I'm starting to think that God might have another plan for me. Maybe--just maybe--I'm supposed to be a stay-at-home mom. Please note: I am not a homemaker. I hate to clean. I'm not even a great cook. And when it comes to being around my kids 24/7, forget about it! This really is not my forte. Being in school and studying is more my thing. That's why I applied to Kutztown. I love learning, and I'm really good at it! Here's the proof: I graduated magna cum laude from RACC. That's right. God blessed me with a brain. I have too much potential in the academic arena to waste it on cleaning house and running after children all day. But I have kids. They depend on me to be their rock every single day. I am charged with teaching them about God and raising them to be godly people. People who will one day serve Him with all of their hearts. I don't know what is in store for them, but God tells me in Jeremiah 29 that He has a plan for them just as much as He has a plan for me. His plans are for prosperity, hope and a future. So even if I don't make it in the academic arena, I can make it in the home. My kids' future is at stake, and I'm not going to help them by being preoccupied with my studies.
So where does this come from all of a sudden? Well, I'm going to explain that right now. If it doesn't make sense right away, just bear with me and keep reading.
Yesterday Pastor Tim spoke on 2 Corinthians 12. The title of the sermon was "Sufficient Grace." Grace for our weaknesses. The main thing I got out of it is that God wants us at our weakest so that His strength can be displayed. How is God honored if I am only focusing on my strengths? Hint: He's not.
Then I got an email from my mom. Every now and then she sends me devotions from Greg Laurie, and this one was called "My Grace is Sufficient for You." He even quoted from 2 Corinthians 12. It was more about God being with us in our storms. Weird. But not too weird.
But then I read a post from Mark Brown (He's a pastor from Australia who posts his journeys into God's word.) called "The Strength in Realizing I Am Weak." Mark talked about how he loves to focus on his strengths, but really he is weak. He really needs the Holy Spirit's strength to overcome his sins, which are his weaknesses. Okay, God, you have my attention now.
And that's where all of this ties in. There is one more thing, but I'll get to that in a minute. God is not glorified when I am showing off my strengths. It was nice getting recognized at church yesterday for my accomplishment with my education. I love recognition. But it's not about me. It's about God and the eternal impact I am making for him. My eternal impact starts at home, and, I must admit, that is a weakness for me. I need a ton of God's grace to raise my children in a godly manner. It's a weakness for me to become just a homemaker and stay-at-home mom. I know I'm capable of doing so much more. But just being a homemaker gives me the opportunity to rely on God for the strength to stay on task and not get distracted.
I was recently given the opportunity to grab hold of God's promise to not leave me and to give me strength. I had an MRI on Friday, and it was the worst experience of my life. I was put into this tube, and I had to stay completely still. That wasn't so bad. But then I heard the noise of the MRI, and that was more than I could bear. I had a number of times when I panicked and all I wanted to do was get out. The only thing that got me through was praying and focusing on God. As long as I was focused on Him, I had strength to endure the MRI. Without God, I know that I couldn't have done it.
Well, there was one more thing that God used to speak to me. I prayed yesterday that God would give me a passion for my husband. Well, I got an answer to that one! I read the Women Living Well blog and Courtney, the blogger, posted a Completing Him Challenge that starts today! Well, I wasn't sure what "completing him" meant when I saw the post on Facebook, so I read it. It is a challenge to be the woman your husband needs. If that isn't from God, I don't know what is! So I'll be posting about this challenge in the coming weeks. While I was at Courtney's blog, I saw a segment of the Rachael Ray show that she was in. It was all about housewives. And I really saw how I'd like my life to be. And it scares me, because I have to have full reliance on God to meet our needs. It's going to be a lot of work to break out of the routine that I'm currently in. I really am going to have to commit to being the woman that my husband needs me to be.
This isn't the final word on the direction my life is going. I still need to pray a lot more about it. I want to make sure this is from God and not from me.

Reflections of the Heart in Social Media

Proverbs 27:19--
As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man.

This is a difficult teaching. It begs the question of me "what is in my heart?" How can I know what is in my heart? How can I know what is in anyone's heart? In Matthew 12:34, Jesus says, "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." This is how we can know what is in someone's hearts. But it's not just what I verbalize. It's what I say non-verbally too. With the advent of social media, there are many other ways to determine what is in someone's heart. On Twitter, you can browse through the people I follow. You can see that I follow people who are involved with autism, reiki, and health. I also follow some friends and celebrities. My Myspace page is decorated with an autism theme. With having an autistic son, it's a big part of my life. I also have a fractal video on there, and you can see what I like to listen to, watch, and read. All of these things reflect what is important to me. Even the friends I have reflect who I am. On Facebook I have over 100 friends, and I have joined many fan pages. What can a person learn about me from my fan pages? These things reflect my heart, whether intentional or not. They reflect what I like and who I am. Also on Facebook, I have a flair board, which is a place to stick virtual buttons. There are literally thousands of these flair. I'm pretty proud of my flair board, but what is it that I'm proud of? My religion, my family, my ideas on politics, popular culture. Actually, I think that it's a pretty good reflection of who I am. It's a reflection of my heart. You can look at all of these things and find out a piece of who I am. Social media can't tell the whole story, but it's a good start.
So what is in my heart? Lately I've been struggling with a weed that is growing in my heart and is choking out God's truth. The problem is that the weed is pretty attractive to me. It's feeding a part of me that has lain dormant for some time. It's part of who I was. I am not that person anymore though. But, you know, it's just like weeds. They start out innocently enough. Before you know it, it's taken over the garden. It hides in the shadows. If you look between the lines, you can see the struggle.